We're
mighty pleased that James Stanford agreed to drive the 2007 Holden
VE SS Ute on our behalf. James has written for Australia's Herald
Sun newspaper and currently scribes for GoAuto.
For
full Aussie ute effect, we're leaving James' words for this story
undiluted and as strong as the sting of an Irukandji jelly.
To
help you gringos out translating: tyres = tires, bonnet
= hood, sheila = girlfriend, tub = bed, beer = beer.
OK,
you're on your own now, mates. Enjoy!
You better
start stockpiling tyres now. If the Holden VE Ute makes it to the US
in the near future – and
I’ll bet a slab of cold ones it does – you guys are going
to need plenty of the black stuff.
With a 362-horsepower
V8 shoved under the bonnet of this weapon, the VE Ute makes a mockery
of No Smoking laws by torching the rear tyres on demand.
Holden has
just launched the
all-new model in Australia, where powerful utes are
often regarded as affordable two-door sportscars as well as workhorses.
There's no negative trailer-park stigma with car-body utes Down Under
- the machines are so sought after that they have a better resale values
than their sedan siblings.
Based on
the VE sedan, which is headed to the States with a Pontiac front end
and a Pontiac G8 badge, this Holden is a low riding car-based ute available
with V6 and V8 engines.
Aussies
have a long history of these street friendly cargo carriers, with the
first real ute created when a farmer requested a car he could use to
carry all his produce and take the family into town. The resulting
1934 Ford V8 ute started an Aussie fascination with the mild load haulers
that has grown stronger as more horses have been crammed under the
bonnet.
It’s easy to see why Aussies love their
utes.
Firstly,
they are pure two-seaters.That means there’s room
for your sheila, but not her mother. She has to either ride in the rear
tub, where you can’t hear her, or
stay at home.
Just as
convincing is how much bang you get for your bucks. A ute is usually
about $5,000 Aussie dollars ($4,330 USD) cheaper than the equivalent
four-door sedan. To translate, that adds up to 3,703 cans of beer or
about a dozen rear tyres.
Competition
has spurred on the development car-based utes in Australia, with Ford
developing utes based on its rear-drive Falcon sedan. The Blue Oval
performance utes comes with a 349-hp 5.4-litre V8 and a wickedly smooth
turbo 4.0-litre six that pumps out 329-hp.
Holden was
always going to hit back and turned its attention to the Ute after
launching the all-new VE sedan last August. It dropped its hard-working
flat tray One Tonner and the stretched crew cab Ute models and concentrated
on the two-seater.
